Quote of the week

Mom - I like toys. Toys are so fun! Toys are way more fun than school!!

Ain't that the truth kid!

Merry Christmas!!!

Daniel with Santa

Last year when I took Daniel to see Santa at the mall, he told Santa he wanted CANDY. I guess that's what they got in the orphanage, so that's all he knew to ask for. Well, this year it was a different story. We're standing in line and I tell him, 'Daniel, Santa is going to ask you what you want for Christmas. What are you going to tell him?' 'I DON'T KNOW MOM!' I said, 'Well, you'll think of something.' I thought for sure he would tell Santa he wants a remote control helicopter. That's what he has been talking about (and what mom has stashed under the couch). So we get up there and he tells Santa he wants a.........Guitar! WHAT?? Where did that come from? So - mom is headed back out to the store...

Can you believe this big boy? He is getting so grown up!! Compare this to last year's picture with Santa. What a difference a year makes!

Gifts from God

Our current series at church is about gifts from God (appropriate for December). Yesterday, our preacher asked us this question:



What's a gift that God gave you that you initially rejected, but turned out to be a huge blessing?


This question really resonated with me. In my life, there can really only be one answer. That's the gift of infertility. You see, I would love to tell you that Jason and I are totally magnanimous, have a huge heart and care about the plight of orphans in this world. While some of those things are true - that's not why we adopted. I, like many other women, would have loved to experience the miracle of pregnancy. I would love to look into a tiny face and see my features all mixed up with Jason's. I would love to rock a baby to sleep in my arms - my baby. But that is not a possibility for me and I never thought I would see that as a 'gift'.

I was devastated, crushed, broken hearted. How can this happen to me? We cried out to God for a miracle. I am a firm believer in miracles. It doesn't matter what the doctors say, God can do anything. Sara got pregnant and she was over 100! I prayed like never before and believed that God would answer. And, God did work a miracle, just not in the way I expected.

That summer, at church we were spending time in Romans and they were preaching on 'The five words that will change your life'. The very week that we found out there was zero chance I could have a baby, the message was on adoption. Of course, they were talking about being adopted into God's family but they also spoke on building families through adoption and had folks in the lobby with information about adoption. To be quite honest, that weekend I was so heartbroken and numb - I couldn't even go there in my mind. But I can see now that God was revealing His plan for us - in a huge, you just can't miss it, way!

There is a grieving process that you have to go through, but once we processed all of that and continued to pray for an all out miracle - God brought us around to His way of thinking. Our miracle was already alive and well, in an orphanage in Ukraine. You see, we probably would not have adopted if we had been able to have children of our own and now - we just cannot imagine our lives without Daniel. We are 100% certain that he is the child we were meant to have. He is so much like us in so many ways and fits into our family perfectly. That's how God does things. His ways are higher and better than ours. So, thank you God for the gift of infertility. As painful as it is, I could not have imagined a family as great as the one you have blessed us with. You had bigger plans for us than we even had for ourselves. Thank you Lord!

It is with much trepidation that I share this post with you. As heartfelt as it is, it's hard to bare your private pain to the world. I am doing it for 2 reasons. One is to give God all the glory for this amazing child He gave us. And the second is for you. Whatever difficult time you may be going through, know that God loves you! He can work all things together for His good. And that painful, unfair and heartbreaking struggle may just turn out to be the biggest blessing of your life!

Here is a link to our church's website, if you would like to hear Kyle's sermon:

http://www.southeastchristian.org/?page=3476&project=82670&program=322717

CAL Christmas program

We're still here, just extremely busy. It's the most wonderful time of the year, right? Daniel's Christmas program at school was last night. It was so sweet to see him singing the songs and amazingly enough - playing the xylophone!! He didn't know all of the words like most of the other kids, but his excitement was geniune and it was so precious to hear him singing about the birth of our Saviour!

Here is Daniel with his teacher:

The Daniel fan club was out in full force:

Black Eye

The eye is getting better...





Our 'Parent homework' for the week was to make a Native American home. Pop has been out of town for work. I was fully intending for him to take the lead on this project, but now it's up to me. YIKES!! We started with a plan to make a longhouse, but the glue wasn't holding, the sticks weren't straight and it was a general nightmare. Mamaw and Papaw to the rescue! It took all of us to craft this masterpiece. If they give a prize for the BIGGEST home, he will win for sure!



We are hanging on by a thread just waiting for pop to get back. It takes all three of us to make this family work and we are missing him!!

Goose Egg!!

When I picked Daniel up at school on Thursday, he had a huge goose egg on his eye. Check out this bump! Apparently he was climbing down the playground equipment and his foot slipped off and he slammed his eye right into the metal. OUCH!!





And now today, he has a lovely rainbow on his eye....

Please don't think I am perverse for posting these pictures. The grandparents want to see what happened - so this is for you!!

Oh, and last week's verse:

New toy!!

Daniel got 4 stickers for good behavior last week so he chose this cool GI Joe 'steel marauder' for his treat. He's been having a great time setting up all of the soldiers and then knocking them down.

We are so happy to see an improvement in his behavior. Things have really turned around lately. We just had to figure out the right motivation and be more deliberate in our approach and things have fallen into place. This is totally a testament to the fact that the Lord answers prayer.

We have been praying (and asking you all to pray) for the Lord to give us wisdom in our parenting. We don't know what we're doing (and starting out with a 5 year old, we didn't have much time to figure it out!) and we have completely been claiming that verse in James. 'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.' We know we lack it and have been asking God to bless us with wisdom so that we can parent this sweet boy exactly how he wants us to. It is so great to see that He gives us wisdom right when we need it. Praise the Lord for the amazing progress we've seen in Daniel!

And, I have to share with you about a recent development. I don't know that I have mentioned this here before or not - but one thing with Daniel that's been consistent ever since we've come home is that when he gets hurt, he runs away from us. He doesn't run to me for comfort. All you adoptive parents out there know, when you're reading about attachment is that one of the signs of good attachment is that the child comes to you for comfort. Now, there is no doubt about our attachment. He definitely is attached to us, loves us, and wants to please us. We believe we have attached very well. But, when he gets hurt - he will jump up and down and cry, or run into the next room and cry, or run around in circles. He is hurt, upset, and just falls apart. This is sad for mom - I want him to come to me! At first I didn't know what to do about this. What's the right response? This child had to comfort himself for so long, what should I expect? So - not knowing if it's right or not - when this would happen (fall off his bike, trip and fall - whatever) I would grab him and pull him into my lap. He would be crying and wiggling and squiggling and try to get away, but I would hold him tight and try to give him comfort. To show him - this is how it works. I had no idea if that was a good move or not. It certainly didn't seem to make him feel better and sometimes I felt like I was being mean, not giving him what he wants - to let him comfort himself.

Just this week, he was walking up the back steps and tripped and fell and started to cry. For the very first time - in one year and 7 months, he didn't run away and he let me comfort him. He didn't run to me, but he didn't run away either. He just stood still and I came right to him, pulled him in my lap and he leaned into me and cried. I have to tell you - I think my heart stopped. I was so moved at that moment. I don't want to make a big deal about a small thing. But, to me - it was a priceless moment, and indication that our attachment is still getting stronger. What a privelege to be mom!

Memory Verse for last week

Halloween

Our wonderful neighbors invited us over for a fun Halloween cookout. Batman had a great time roasting hot dogs and marshmellows...





And then the boys were ready for their big night of trick or treating. Daniel was more excited about it this year. I think because he knew what was coming! Batman, Dracula and the Pirate had a great time...

All in all it was a very successful night!

I asked him at the end of the evening, 'What was your favorite part?' What do you think he said? It wasn't all the candy, or roasting marshmallows, or being batman. His favorite part was riding the wagon with Edward and Augie. How sweet is that?

Halloween week of fun

Remember when Halloween used to be just one day of fun? Well, not any more! It seems like we've been having activities all week.

We went out to Bellarmine University on Monday. The college kids decorated the dorms in all kinds of great themes and handed out candy for the little ones. Check out Sergeant Squash:

And then we went out to Mark's Feed Store for their Halloween party and Batman made a re-appearance...

By the time the actual Halloween gets here, maybe he won't want any candy - you think?

Smell and Memory

We are hanging in there, staying busy and getting ready for a fun Halloween weekend. Things are going better for Daniel at school. He has had a few good days in a row this week so we're hoping we've turned a corner.

Fall is really here and someone was burning leaves last weekend - you know that smell? We walked out the back door of the house and Daniel says immediately, 'Mom, it smells just like this in Ukraine!' He doesn't speak of Ukraine too often and we were surprised. It was so out of the blue. It's amazing how strongly our memories are linked to smells. We had a nice afternoon and attacked the leaves in our yard with vengeance. Daniel was really excited about raking. I think it's cause he knew some fun was coming....

Bits and Notes

Daniel's 2nd tooth came out last week:

I am caving to your peer pressure and giving the tooth fairy a raise. He will be getting one whole dollar for this tooth!

Daniel chose roller skating for his prize after his good week at school. It was a fun time:

Something he couldn't do when he first came here, he has now mastered. After much practice at recess, Daniel can now make it all the way across the monkey bars! (that's something mom can't do!)







AND the Hornets won their last soccer game!







As if the weekend wasn't full enough, he also had a karate tournamet. It was so cute to see how excited he was about his big trophy!! Here he is breaking his board:







And Sparring:

And with his cool trophy and 2 medals. (Jason and I went around all day singing, 'You're the best, around. Nothing's gonna ever keep you down!' The 80's anyone? We totally felt like we were in the Karate Kid movie, with our Daniel son.)

Whew! I am exhausted just thinking back over it all. Now soccer is over and we can rest, right?

Halloween at the zoo

We put on Daniel's fabulous Batman costume in preparation for our trip to the zoo. We were posing in front of the mirror and generally admiring how cool and muscular he is when he looked at me in all seriousness and asked, 'Mom - can I fly?' It was so sweet. I hated having to tell him no. You can pretend to fly, but no - don't jump out the window or anything. :( I hated to burst his bubble of innocence. I totally wanted to say YES this is a magic cape, YES you can fly, and YES mom is the coolest!!

Bummer!

Field Trip

Daniel's field trip today was to Huber's to pick a pumpkin and go through the cartoon corn maze. We had a great time and I am exhausted!

A great week!

At school, if you've had a good week and didn't drop your apple all week - then at the end of the week you get to pick out a treasure from the treasure chest. Well...

After 8 weeks of school,



for the very first time,



Daniel Anatoly got to choose a toy from the treasure chest. (he picked out a calculator by the way)

Whoa!! We are so excited at our house. And here is the verse for the week:

He scores!!

This is Daniel's soccer team, the Hornets:

At last Saturday's game, he scored his first goal! Woo hoo!! We were so excited. I actually couldn't be there, but he called me right after the game and was YELLING into the phone. He was so pumped. I told him he has to do it again this week so I can see it :)

We are still working on the behavior at school. Last week it was yelling out during class, throwing rocks on the playground and Friday he spat on a kid. Yikes! The principal told us that spitting is very common at this age. The boy he spit on was telling another little girl to clean up her area and Daniel thought he was being mean so he spit on him. Yes, it was a bad choice but it came from a good place. He was sticking up for another kid. I praised him for wanting to help her and brainstormed some ideas about what we could have done differently.

We decided we need to be more deliberate in our approach. So Friday, after the trip to the principal for throwing rocks (AGAIN!) we sat down and made a list. We wrote out the rules for school and then the list of consequences for a bad choice. We have the standing in the corner choices, the standing in the corner and straight to bed after dinner choices, and the spanking choices. I am a firm believer that we can't spring a punishment on him. It has to be something we discussed ahead of time, so there is no question about the consequence if he makes a bad choice. We also setup a rewards system. He has 4 behavior areas that we get a daily report on from his teacher. Each day he gets a smile on 3 of the 4 areas, he will earn a sticker. If he can get 4 stickers in one week then he gets a reward (a toy, go roller skating - something special).

So, we have our shiny new system in place - we reviewed everything before school yesterday and off he went. 'I will do good mom!' Yesterday he was yelling out in class again. He yelled out so many times that she had to send him to the principal's office in order to be able to teach in the afternoon. However, he only had one X on his behavior chart. So, he earned a sticker but he still had to stand in the corner (for going to the principal's office). It seems like a weird combination of events. I praised him for the sticker, but still gave him the business about yellling out in class. Hmmm...hopefully our new system will help him to stop and think about the consequence (good or bad) before he makes a choice.

I had no idea that disciplining my kid would be so hard. (I remember very clearly thinking my parents were just mean and that they might even enjoy it. Sorry mom and dad!) It takes so much dedication to stick to your guns. It would be so much easier to just focus on the good stuff (there is a lot) and let the rest slide. Oh how tempting! But I know Daniel will not be able to reach his full potential in life if he does not learn to follow the rules. We are always telling him that bad choices will make him unhappy. That's true all through life - now while he is little but even for adults too. It's my job to teach him that. SIGH! I'd really rather just give out kisses, go on bike rides and play Uno.

Another week, another trip to the principal

And this week it's rock throwing on the playground. YAY. This was the view at our house....

We're still working on making good choices and following the rules. He knows what he should be doing, he just doesn't do it. We keep telling him, you need to STOP and THINK before you do something. Sometimes I wonder if he can stop himself. When he's in the moment, he doesn't have the self control to stop himself from doing the wrong thing. We're praying about it.

And he is also a rock star at soccer. Every parent thinks their kid is great, right? But we are so surprised! He is playing with kids that have played for years and he is right in there. He really hustles and goes after the ball. That aggressive personality is serving him well in sports and it is so cute to see.......