At last Saturday's game, he scored his first goal! Woo hoo!! We were so excited. I actually couldn't be there, but he called me right after the game and was YELLING into the phone. He was so pumped. I told him he has to do it again this week so I can see it :)
We are still working on the behavior at school. Last week it was yelling out during class, throwing rocks on the playground and Friday he spat on a kid. Yikes! The principal told us that spitting is very common at this age. The boy he spit on was telling another little girl to clean up her area and Daniel thought he was being mean so he spit on him. Yes, it was a bad choice but it came from a good place. He was sticking up for another kid. I praised him for wanting to help her and brainstormed some ideas about what we could have done differently.
We decided we need to be more deliberate in our approach. So Friday, after the trip to the principal for throwing rocks (AGAIN!) we sat down and made a list. We wrote out the rules for school and then the list of consequences for a bad choice. We have the standing in the corner choices, the standing in the corner and straight to bed after dinner choices, and the spanking choices. I am a firm believer that we can't spring a punishment on him. It has to be something we discussed ahead of time, so there is no question about the consequence if he makes a bad choice. We also setup a rewards system. He has 4 behavior areas that we get a daily report on from his teacher. Each day he gets a smile on 3 of the 4 areas, he will earn a sticker. If he can get 4 stickers in one week then he gets a reward (a toy, go roller skating - something special).
So, we have our shiny new system in place - we reviewed everything before school yesterday and off he went. 'I will do good mom!' Yesterday he was yelling out in class again. He yelled out so many times that she had to send him to the principal's office in order to be able to teach in the afternoon. However, he only had one X on his behavior chart. So, he earned a sticker but he still had to stand in the corner (for going to the principal's office). It seems like a weird combination of events. I praised him for the sticker, but still gave him the business about yellling out in class. Hmmm...hopefully our new system will help him to stop and think about the consequence (good or bad) before he makes a choice.
I had no idea that disciplining my kid would be so hard. (I remember very clearly thinking my parents were just mean and that they might even enjoy it. Sorry mom and dad!) It takes so much dedication to stick to your guns. It would be so much easier to just focus on the good stuff (there is a lot) and let the rest slide. Oh how tempting! But I know Daniel will not be able to reach his full potential in life if he does not learn to follow the rules. We are always telling him that bad choices will make him unhappy. That's true all through life - now while he is little but even for adults too. It's my job to teach him that. SIGH! I'd really rather just give out kisses, go on bike rides and play Uno.
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