Gifts from God

Our current series at church is about gifts from God (appropriate for December). Yesterday, our preacher asked us this question:



What's a gift that God gave you that you initially rejected, but turned out to be a huge blessing?


This question really resonated with me. In my life, there can really only be one answer. That's the gift of infertility. You see, I would love to tell you that Jason and I are totally magnanimous, have a huge heart and care about the plight of orphans in this world. While some of those things are true - that's not why we adopted. I, like many other women, would have loved to experience the miracle of pregnancy. I would love to look into a tiny face and see my features all mixed up with Jason's. I would love to rock a baby to sleep in my arms - my baby. But that is not a possibility for me and I never thought I would see that as a 'gift'.

I was devastated, crushed, broken hearted. How can this happen to me? We cried out to God for a miracle. I am a firm believer in miracles. It doesn't matter what the doctors say, God can do anything. Sara got pregnant and she was over 100! I prayed like never before and believed that God would answer. And, God did work a miracle, just not in the way I expected.

That summer, at church we were spending time in Romans and they were preaching on 'The five words that will change your life'. The very week that we found out there was zero chance I could have a baby, the message was on adoption. Of course, they were talking about being adopted into God's family but they also spoke on building families through adoption and had folks in the lobby with information about adoption. To be quite honest, that weekend I was so heartbroken and numb - I couldn't even go there in my mind. But I can see now that God was revealing His plan for us - in a huge, you just can't miss it, way!

There is a grieving process that you have to go through, but once we processed all of that and continued to pray for an all out miracle - God brought us around to His way of thinking. Our miracle was already alive and well, in an orphanage in Ukraine. You see, we probably would not have adopted if we had been able to have children of our own and now - we just cannot imagine our lives without Daniel. We are 100% certain that he is the child we were meant to have. He is so much like us in so many ways and fits into our family perfectly. That's how God does things. His ways are higher and better than ours. So, thank you God for the gift of infertility. As painful as it is, I could not have imagined a family as great as the one you have blessed us with. You had bigger plans for us than we even had for ourselves. Thank you Lord!

It is with much trepidation that I share this post with you. As heartfelt as it is, it's hard to bare your private pain to the world. I am doing it for 2 reasons. One is to give God all the glory for this amazing child He gave us. And the second is for you. Whatever difficult time you may be going through, know that God loves you! He can work all things together for His good. And that painful, unfair and heartbreaking struggle may just turn out to be the biggest blessing of your life!

Here is a link to our church's website, if you would like to hear Kyle's sermon:

http://www.southeastchristian.org/?page=3476&project=82670&program=322717