Daniel got 4 stickers for good behavior last week so he chose this cool GI Joe 'steel marauder' for his treat. He's been having a great time setting up all of the soldiers and then knocking them down.
We are so happy to see an improvement in his behavior. Things have really turned around lately. We just had to figure out the right motivation and be more deliberate in our approach and things have fallen into place. This is totally a testament to the fact that the Lord answers prayer.
We have been praying (and asking you all to pray) for the Lord to give us wisdom in our parenting. We don't know what we're doing (and starting out with a 5 year old, we didn't have much time to figure it out!) and we have completely been claiming that verse in James. 'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.' We know we lack it and have been asking God to bless us with wisdom so that we can parent this sweet boy exactly how he wants us to. It is so great to see that He gives us wisdom right when we need it. Praise the Lord for the amazing progress we've seen in Daniel!
And, I have to share with you about a recent development. I don't know that I have mentioned this here before or not - but one thing with Daniel that's been consistent ever since we've come home is that when he gets hurt, he runs away from us. He doesn't run to me for comfort. All you adoptive parents out there know, when you're reading about attachment is that one of the signs of good attachment is that the child comes to you for comfort. Now, there is no doubt about our attachment. He definitely is attached to us, loves us, and wants to please us. We believe we have attached very well. But, when he gets hurt - he will jump up and down and cry, or run into the next room and cry, or run around in circles. He is hurt, upset, and just falls apart. This is sad for mom - I want him to come to me! At first I didn't know what to do about this. What's the right response? This child had to comfort himself for so long, what should I expect? So - not knowing if it's right or not - when this would happen (fall off his bike, trip and fall - whatever) I would grab him and pull him into my lap. He would be crying and wiggling and squiggling and try to get away, but I would hold him tight and try to give him comfort. To show him - this is how it works. I had no idea if that was a good move or not. It certainly didn't seem to make him feel better and sometimes I felt like I was being mean, not giving him what he wants - to let him comfort himself.
Just this week, he was walking up the back steps and tripped and fell and started to cry. For the very first time - in one year and 7 months, he didn't run away and he let me comfort him. He didn't run to me, but he didn't run away either. He just stood still and I came right to him, pulled him in my lap and he leaned into me and cried. I have to tell you - I think my heart stopped. I was so moved at that moment. I don't want to make a big deal about a small thing. But, to me - it was a priceless moment, and indication that our attachment is still getting stronger. What a privelege to be mom!
