Smell and Memory

We are hanging in there, staying busy and getting ready for a fun Halloween weekend. Things are going better for Daniel at school. He has had a few good days in a row this week so we're hoping we've turned a corner.

Fall is really here and someone was burning leaves last weekend - you know that smell? We walked out the back door of the house and Daniel says immediately, 'Mom, it smells just like this in Ukraine!' He doesn't speak of Ukraine too often and we were surprised. It was so out of the blue. It's amazing how strongly our memories are linked to smells. We had a nice afternoon and attacked the leaves in our yard with vengeance. Daniel was really excited about raking. I think it's cause he knew some fun was coming....

Bits and Notes

Daniel's 2nd tooth came out last week:

I am caving to your peer pressure and giving the tooth fairy a raise. He will be getting one whole dollar for this tooth!

Daniel chose roller skating for his prize after his good week at school. It was a fun time:

Something he couldn't do when he first came here, he has now mastered. After much practice at recess, Daniel can now make it all the way across the monkey bars! (that's something mom can't do!)







AND the Hornets won their last soccer game!







As if the weekend wasn't full enough, he also had a karate tournamet. It was so cute to see how excited he was about his big trophy!! Here he is breaking his board:







And Sparring:

And with his cool trophy and 2 medals. (Jason and I went around all day singing, 'You're the best, around. Nothing's gonna ever keep you down!' The 80's anyone? We totally felt like we were in the Karate Kid movie, with our Daniel son.)

Whew! I am exhausted just thinking back over it all. Now soccer is over and we can rest, right?

Halloween at the zoo

We put on Daniel's fabulous Batman costume in preparation for our trip to the zoo. We were posing in front of the mirror and generally admiring how cool and muscular he is when he looked at me in all seriousness and asked, 'Mom - can I fly?' It was so sweet. I hated having to tell him no. You can pretend to fly, but no - don't jump out the window or anything. :( I hated to burst his bubble of innocence. I totally wanted to say YES this is a magic cape, YES you can fly, and YES mom is the coolest!!

Bummer!

Field Trip

Daniel's field trip today was to Huber's to pick a pumpkin and go through the cartoon corn maze. We had a great time and I am exhausted!

A great week!

At school, if you've had a good week and didn't drop your apple all week - then at the end of the week you get to pick out a treasure from the treasure chest. Well...

After 8 weeks of school,



for the very first time,



Daniel Anatoly got to choose a toy from the treasure chest. (he picked out a calculator by the way)

Whoa!! We are so excited at our house. And here is the verse for the week:

He scores!!

This is Daniel's soccer team, the Hornets:

At last Saturday's game, he scored his first goal! Woo hoo!! We were so excited. I actually couldn't be there, but he called me right after the game and was YELLING into the phone. He was so pumped. I told him he has to do it again this week so I can see it :)

We are still working on the behavior at school. Last week it was yelling out during class, throwing rocks on the playground and Friday he spat on a kid. Yikes! The principal told us that spitting is very common at this age. The boy he spit on was telling another little girl to clean up her area and Daniel thought he was being mean so he spit on him. Yes, it was a bad choice but it came from a good place. He was sticking up for another kid. I praised him for wanting to help her and brainstormed some ideas about what we could have done differently.

We decided we need to be more deliberate in our approach. So Friday, after the trip to the principal for throwing rocks (AGAIN!) we sat down and made a list. We wrote out the rules for school and then the list of consequences for a bad choice. We have the standing in the corner choices, the standing in the corner and straight to bed after dinner choices, and the spanking choices. I am a firm believer that we can't spring a punishment on him. It has to be something we discussed ahead of time, so there is no question about the consequence if he makes a bad choice. We also setup a rewards system. He has 4 behavior areas that we get a daily report on from his teacher. Each day he gets a smile on 3 of the 4 areas, he will earn a sticker. If he can get 4 stickers in one week then he gets a reward (a toy, go roller skating - something special).

So, we have our shiny new system in place - we reviewed everything before school yesterday and off he went. 'I will do good mom!' Yesterday he was yelling out in class again. He yelled out so many times that she had to send him to the principal's office in order to be able to teach in the afternoon. However, he only had one X on his behavior chart. So, he earned a sticker but he still had to stand in the corner (for going to the principal's office). It seems like a weird combination of events. I praised him for the sticker, but still gave him the business about yellling out in class. Hmmm...hopefully our new system will help him to stop and think about the consequence (good or bad) before he makes a choice.

I had no idea that disciplining my kid would be so hard. (I remember very clearly thinking my parents were just mean and that they might even enjoy it. Sorry mom and dad!) It takes so much dedication to stick to your guns. It would be so much easier to just focus on the good stuff (there is a lot) and let the rest slide. Oh how tempting! But I know Daniel will not be able to reach his full potential in life if he does not learn to follow the rules. We are always telling him that bad choices will make him unhappy. That's true all through life - now while he is little but even for adults too. It's my job to teach him that. SIGH! I'd really rather just give out kisses, go on bike rides and play Uno.

Another week, another trip to the principal

And this week it's rock throwing on the playground. YAY. This was the view at our house....

We're still working on making good choices and following the rules. He knows what he should be doing, he just doesn't do it. We keep telling him, you need to STOP and THINK before you do something. Sometimes I wonder if he can stop himself. When he's in the moment, he doesn't have the self control to stop himself from doing the wrong thing. We're praying about it.

And he is also a rock star at soccer. Every parent thinks their kid is great, right? But we are so surprised! He is playing with kids that have played for years and he is right in there. He really hustles and goes after the ball. That aggressive personality is serving him well in sports and it is so cute to see.......

School Daze

Still here - sorry for the long pause between posts. I have been sick (again!) and we have lots going on. It seems to be just non-stop. Here is Daniel's verse from last week:

Daniel is still getting into a bit of trouble at school (and church). We are working through each thing as it comes up. (pushing, hitting, kicking and even spitting - wow, yelling out during class, dis-obeying) His teacher and the principal are very optimistic and have been great to work with. They keep reminding me that he has come a long way, we are seeing improvement. The Principal was just telling me on Friday how much she loves Daniel. He is such a special boy and that sweet spirit just wins everyone over.

We just keep talking about his choices. We keep telling him that bad choices will make him unhappy but good choices will make him happy. And that's true all through life. The sooner he learns that lesson, the better for him. I think part of it may still be a communication problem. When he speaks with adults, they are more patient with him and open to figuring out what he's trying to say. The other kids aren't quite as patient and understanding. I think at times he gets frustrated when he can't get his point across and resorts to what he knows gets attention. That's no excuse for his behavior but we're trying to figure out what gets into him. Check out some of his great karate moves:

We appreciate your continued prayers for Daniel. Change is hard. Adjustment is uncomfortable and it takes time to develop new habits. We're hoping we survive while he learns new habits!

Happy long weekend!

Hope you had a great Labor Day! We really enjoyed being off of work and school. They had a big carnival at our church and Daniel had fun playing games, eating ice cream, jumping in the inflatables, sliding down the water slide, and just having a great time. Way better than a day at school!

He has also started soccer at church. We thought we would try out all of the different sports to see what he would like. He had his first game on Saturday and I am not sure who was more excited about it - Daniel or Pop! He did really well. Some of the kids on his team have been playing soccer since 3 years old and they really know a lot about the game. Daniel was not timid (imagine that!) and jumped right in there, chased the ball, kicked the ball AND kept his hands to himself. YAY! (I was worried that in an aggressive situation we could be setting him up for a problem but so far, so good!) His team is the hornets. It was cute - he kept looking over at me and my folks to make sure we were cheering him on. How special for him to have people in his corner and rooting for him. We whooped and cheered our hearts out!

And I have to share with you a very special conversation I had with Daniel. Last Thursday morning I was making breakfast (and making lunch, making snack, folding laundry, signing papers, you know how crazy those school mornings are!) and Daniel was sitting on the floor putting on his shoes and he says to me, 'Mom, Kaytlyn at school said that Jesus died on the cross up on a big hill. No, he did not!'

Well, I immediately stopped what I was doing and sat down with him and said, 'Yes, Jesus did die on the cross on a big hill. That's right." "But mom," he says, "you said the cross at school." I had to clear up a bit of confusion that they do have a cross at school and it reminds us that Jesus died for us on the cross, but Jesus didn't die on that actual cross at school. He died on a cross on a big hill far away from here.

Once we cleared that up I said, "Do you know why Jesus died on the cross?"

No Mom - why?

Because he loves us very much! You know, all of the wrong things that we do and bad choices that we make, those are called Sins. And, to pay for our sins God said that we would have to go to Hell when we die. Do you know what Hell is?

No Mom - what?

Hell is where the Devil lives. There is fire everywhere there and the people there are very unhappy. But because we sin and do the wrong thing, we would have to go to Hell when we die to pay for our sin. We don't want to go there, do we?

No Mom!

Well, Jesus doesn't want us to go there either. And He loves us sooooo much, that He died on the cross to pay for our sins. He didn't have any sin, He is perfect. But He loves us and doesn't want us to go to Hell so He died for us. So anyone who accepts Him and loves Him and receives what He has done for us, can have the gift of going to Heaven when they die. We could go to Heaven and be with Jesus.

Mom - we don't want to go to the Devil's house!

Then we got distracted talking about the Devil's house and what it's like there and then moved on to other topics but I was so amazed. He sat right there with me and hung on my every word. We talked about it for a good while. I don't know how much he really understood, but just the fact that he is asking the questions is so HUGE! What a moment! This has been my prayer from the beginning, that Daniel would come to know Christ at a young age. WOW - I didn't expect it this soon.

Then at school I talked to his teacher about it. She told me that all of the kids have a Young Reader Bible in their desks and when they have free time they are allowed to get it out. Daniel flipped right to the page with a picture of Jesus on the cross and came to her and asked what it was. WOW! He is asking and wants to know. I am just so moved. I cried all the way to work that morning. What an answer to prayer!!! I know we will have many more conversations about it before he understands enough to make a decision, but I am just beside myself with excitement that he is asking the questions. Thank you Lord! I know I shouldn't be amazed when God answers prayers, but to see it happen right before my very eyes is so moving. My prayer is that the Lord will give me exactly the right words to help him understand and to not overlook those teachable moments. Woo hoo - what a blessing!!!

Memory Verse - week 3

So week 3 was a little better. Daniel actually had a pretty good week. On Wednesday, he got NO Xs on his behavior sheet and Mrs. Peterson sent home a note that he had a GREAT day! We were so happy and even celebrated with dinner at Skyline Chili!! And then the very next day he got in trouble, yelled out 'No Fair, No Fair' and threw his apple on the floor, refused to pick it up and had to go to the office. The teacher said that he would be allowed to come back to the class when he is ready to follow her rules. (her note home said that she thought it was good that he didn't run away at this point!) After spending some quality time in the principal's office, he came back to class. UGH! We are happy with the improvement we're seeing (no running in about 2 weeks) and just don't know what possesses him on those rough days.

Check out this sweet thing all dressed up for Chapel....

Memory Verse - week 2

Week 2

We are hanging in there! It was promotion Sunday last weekend at church so Daniel moved up to his First grade Sunday school class. Yes, we got called out of church again - he had to be removed from the class for refusing to participate and crawling under the table. Monday was a good day at school, but Tuesday he was back in the Principal's office for running around the library and refusing to join the group for story time. UGH!! What gets into kid's heads? I honestly think that most of his trouble stems from the fact that he is trying to be the class clown and make the other kids laugh. (I edited out some of his other antics in the school library out of sheer embarassment!) Yesterday his teacher was out and they had a sub (poor lady!) so I didn't get much of a report. At least I didn't get a call from the Principal's office either! At this point we are just celebrating our small victories!

One of the most amazing things to me as a parent is how much it truly grieves my heart when Daniel makes bad choices. On his bad days - I am just so down. It has really opened my eyes to how much my bad choices must grieve my Heavenly Father. That's something I really couldn't understand until I had a kid of my own and can see it in our relationship. Forgive me Lord for grieving you and being foolish enough to think my bad choices only affect me!

Please continue to pray for Daniel as he works his way through this transition. We are definitely seeing improvement, but we have a lot to work on. Someone told me that it takes at least 3 weeks for them to adjust so not to worry about it too much yet. I am going with that! As long as we're seeing improvements, I know he'll get there. Daniel is so amazingly smart, but I keep saying - it doesn't matter how smart he is, if we don't get this behavior under control he won't have a happy life. We know that the Lord loves him even more than we do and we are trusting that He will see us through. (and still praying for wisdom!)

Memory Verse - wk 1

Friday behavior update - another good day! Woo hoo!! 3 good days in a row - now we're on a roll!

One of the things we love about having Daniel at a Christian school is that he gets Bible teaching every day and he will learn a new verse each week. I will try to post them so you can see his progress. Here is the first:




I don't know if you can tell, but he has his T shirt on from his favorite restaurant - Skyline Chili! This kid is a Kentuckian through and through. It is so hilarious to hear him learning English with a Ukranian accent (he still says some old words) AND a southern accent. You should hear him say, 'What is thay-at?' Too cute!

Ah just have no ah-dee-yuh where he gits it. :)

At the lake

We tried to cram as much fun as possible into the last couple weeks of summer. This is a catch up posting. We met some friends at the lake one day and they brought their boat. It was a beautiful day and we had an absolutely great time reconnecting with them and their boys and enjoying the lake.





Another first for Daniel - he got to ride on the tube. I didn't know if he would be scared and we weren't going to do it if he didn't want to but he was so excited about it! Mom rode with him to make sure he didn't fly off. He loved it and I did too. It all depends on the boat driver and Robert really knows how to turn the boat and ZING us across the waves. Whew - what a ride!








And then afterwards, we went back to their campground and roasted hot dogs and marshmellows. As any boy would be, Daniel was entranced by the campfire. He didn't even want to go play at the playground, he just wanted to stay and watch the fire. We really had fun. Thanks Mr. Robert and Ms. Bunny!

Behavior update - Monday was a good day, Tuesday was a bad day, Wednesday was a good day, Thursday was a good day. Is it too soon to think maybe we are on a roll? We are celebrating our good days, and reviewing the expectations on the bad days. Thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement!

First Grade, first week

Did I mention that Daniel was going to grow a tomato plant this summer? I thought it might be a good science project for him over the summer (and I love to eat tomatoes). I told him it was his responsibility, he had to water it all summer and we would see what happened. This was him on Memorial day doing the planting:


He was good about watering all summer long - even reminding me when I didn't feel like it. And here is our little farmer at the end of summer:

He did so great, we might actually plant BIG tomatoes next year!

The beginning of school has been rough. Daniel's latest stunt is running away when he gets in trouble. He is running off from the teacher and it's very dangerous. We're doing everything we can think of to discourage this behavior. I knew that a transition to a new school would be tough, but I didn't anticipate it would be like this. We are hopeful that if we stay consistent, he will learn that this is not acceptable. He hasn't even been there a week yet, so we need to give him time. I know he was nervous on the first day. He said to me on the way there, 'Mom, will you go with me?' Of course! I wouldn't miss it! But that shows me that he was nervous. Check out this face.....

Not a happy camper, huh? We have had a lot of screaming and crying and standing in the corner and drama at our house. We would appreciate your prayers as Daniel adjusts to yet another change in his life. He is a tough guy! And that sweet smile is never far off. On Friday they were supposed to dress like a character from a book we read this summer. We chose 'Froggy goes to camp'. I know you can't tell from this picture, but his hat is a frog face and he has a bowl of BUGS for lunch!

'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.' James 1:5

We are clinging to that verse and praying for wisdom and discernment in parenting this special little boy!

First day of school

Today Daniel was headed off to First grade! We had orientation on Monday and got to visit his room, meet his teacher and sit in his desk.

We were so excited about his chance to go to a Christian School! It's not like it's the first year in school. I didn't think I would have any trouble leaving him. But, I was full of emotion. He did better than I did - I cried all the way to work. He didn't look very happy when I left him, I am sure it was just anxiety (the stutter is back today!). I felt so bad for him. I feel like all we have done since he's been here is thrust him into a new situation and new rules and expect him to adapt. Poor kid. It's been tough, I know and he has done so well. I just felt so guilty.

But of course he did great. He was all smiles when Pop picked him up. Here is our big First grader:

And compare this to his first day of school picture from last year. He has grown so much in one year!!

Great Video

Turn your sound on, sit back, and be moved!

That's My King! [no live band] from Albert Martin on Vimeo.

Yellow belt!!

Friday night they had the summer camp graduation from Karate school and Daniel also tested for his yellow belt. It was fun to see all the kids go through their moves and he did very well. For his test, he got to break a board. We were amazed! Pop held it up and after a few, 'Aiiiyah!'s then he broke it. They were only allowed to break a board if they agreed to break a bad habit. We picked a bad habit (not listening) and wrote it on the board and then he agreed to break it when he broke the board.

Karate school has been good for him this summer. The focus on discipline and self control - all things that we need to work on. He has done so well there that I think we are going to have him continue the classes into the school year. Oh - and by the way - he did get his yellow belt.

OK - so as I read over this and my last few posts, I realize that it sounds like I am bragging. I don't mean to be bragging. We are just so proud and amazed by this little boy. I take no credit. We've worked very hard but he is 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and we are just marveling at the miracle God has worked and is working out in Daniel's life. So many things (challenges, struggles, issues) that we anticipated, expected and tried to prepare ourselves for in adopting just have not come true. Sure, we struggle like any parents. Raising a nice, polite young man is challenging! But, we are so WOW'ed by God's handiwork in Daniel.

(and he didn't have anyone to brag over him for almost 5 years, so I am just catching him up!)

Swimming lessons

Daniel is doing amazingly well in his swimming lessons. He has just had a few, but he's come a long way in a short period of time. Today he was working on breathing to the side as he does his stroke. He picked it up fast. The instructor even said, 'Most kids don't pick it up that fast.' He is Mom's little fish!

Summer fun

We are hanging in there trying to survive this sweltering heat! Did I mention that Daniel loves to play Uno? Some dear friends of ours got him Toy Story Uno for Christmas and we play it ALL the time!! We are also enjoying swimming (his lessons are going great!), watering our tomato plant (it's getting so big!) and going to Karate 3 times a week.

I can't believe school is about to start. Their first day is on August 11th. Whoa! What happened to the summer? Daniel will be going into First grade! We were wavering at the end of last year if he should repeat Kindergarten (to get another year of maturity under his belt) or move on to First grade. We really prayed over it and deliberated over the decision and in the end, he scored so incredibly high on the aptitude tests (95th %ile in reading and 91st %ile in math!!) that we just couldn't bear to make him repeat. He definitely needs to mature a bit and we are full of trepidation about the new school year, but he needs a new challenge and he wouldn't find that by repeating Kindergarten.

We are excited that he will be moving to a Christian school for 1st grade. We had him in the public school last year so he could take advantage of their ESL program and learn English but we are so excited to get him into a Christian environment. We feel the Bible focus in conjunction with their teaching will be so great for him. And he is going to be at Jason's alma mater! (Go Centurions!)

They are having summer camp graduation at Karate school this weekend and he is testing for his yellow belt. So I will have much to post about soon!

We are trying to cram in as much fun into the last 2 weeks of summer as we can.......

Summer Vacation

We decided to head north and try to find some cooler temperatures for our vacation. We enjoyed exploring northern Michigan. Here are some cute shots from our week.....

Daniel running in the sand at the Sleeping Bear sand dunes:

He loves swimming at the pool. Our latest trick is diving for these sticks:

Pirate Cove mini golf was also a big hit:

The lake was cold, but we still enjoyed splashing around and digging in the sand:

We also rode a jetski out to an island and found one of the oldest geocaches in the world!

A good time was had by all:

We were in Traverse City for the National Cherry Festival. It was quite crowded and there were lots of fun activities going on. They had rides and food booths. Daniel rode the Ferris Wheel and the Tilt a Whirl (a boy after mom's own heart). If you ask him now - what was your favorite thing on vacation? He will tell you - the rides and sleeping in the hotel. (funny - I would have thought swimming or the jetski - oh well!)